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Ordered this is May for my son, but he hasnt recieved any of the magazines yet slow shipping time
THIS is that magazine. This is a pretty great magazine for the money. Let's be honest, we like having a magazine in the bathroom to take our mind off of whatever we were thinking about before we walking into the bathroom. Beautiful women, beautiful poses, half-decent stories and articles, and plenty of pages. If the price is still around ten bucks when you try to order this, the value is amazing for what you get.think about it, ten bucks gets you a handful of coffees, or entertainment/something to look at for the next 12 months worth of bathroom breaks.This is a pretty fantastic deal, all things considered.Enjoy.
This was purchased for a man and he likes it very much so I assume it is a good thing.
I told him I wanted to do it for real. 3) a B cup brunette in black bra and p*nties with her arms elegantly placed above her head, slightly lifting up the whole of her hair. This poll tries to claim that most women: lost their virginity before age 20, have engaged in lesbian relationships, make love to a man within 3 weeks of MEETING him, have had 1-5 sex partners, prefer h*rdcore pronography, do it d*ggystyle, and have had an*l sex. Look, sistah, I'm sorry you're dead, but the truth is you shouldn't have been in the army anyway: YOU'RE A GIRL. If you like this magazine I imagine you are a nerd, atheist, freak, virgin, or hermaphrodite.
The former begins by having `real life women' give firsthand accounts of their bisexual explorations. It begins with the teaser: "What bedroom taboos should you encourage your girl to break. This one is just one big sob story about some chick who died from friendly fire in training or something. Love and Death in Iraq, continues to attack President George Bush's noble efforts to free thousands of my Muslim brothers and sisters in Iraq from the grasp of a secular H*tler-like atheist president. Sure why not, check out this snippet of advice offered by Elena Wilson: "We are talking about tying her and up with a scarf or administering a few firm smacks to her a$$." She's destined for big things this Elena Wilson.
At this rate, why don't they just give it away. When he entered me for the first time, I almost came right then."Should we go `there.' To the BDSM section. The one-eyed anti-Christ (Dajjal) will rise to power, however, Jesus Christ (Pbuh) and the12th Madhi will appear (from a well) to take him down. Live by these words and sex thou shalt get.However it is here that I have to give this authoress one heckuva big triple thumbs up as she actually refers to Barack Obama as a nerd. 2) a dirty-blonde babe wearing a mesh swimsuit on a beach (and I'm totally sure she's on a beach, it's not like she was just blue screened in front of it or anything). Snicker.snort.HAHAHAHAHAHA. I hate you and I hate this magazine.
As-Salamu `Alaykum. This one features two photographs featuring nearly nude women in bed together. First they ridicule the honorable Bobby Jindal, insinuating that he is a Muslim and is trying to hide it. All of them." Out of the 5 licentious acts that this article claims are perfectly fine and you should encourage your girl to engage in, the 2 that I find the most reprehensible include girl-on-girl action and "backdoor sex" aka sodomy. Okay. Being a Muslim I find this reprehensible as I don't think being a follower of the prophet Muhammad (Pbuh) is anything to hide.
This one gets on my bad side immediately by having a picture of Obama, only it's done in a mock-iconography style portraying him as one of our most beloved prophets, Jesus Christ (Pbuh). Here the authoress gives the geeks, dweebs, and sexual incompetents that make up the totality of the Maxim audience (and I mean YOU reader). Oh yeah, in my case they kind of did.Even though every article in this issue insulted my Islamic sensibilities, The Sex Checklist I found to be the most abhorrent. They take the low blow of bringing up her pregnant daughter (libs HATE it when a woman doesn't get an abortion or use contraception) , claim that her running for president in 2012 has something to do with the Mayan calendar saying the world will end, and then goes so far as to call her a nutbag for believing in keeping the Second Amendment.That's not all for the April issue however, let's ugg, strive on here shall we, taking a look at the article titled Sexual Kryptonite. These liberals, always using us Muslims as a scapegoat.Well folks, that's about it for this edition of my ever-growing-in-popularity reviews. of the 4 issues I have in front of me I see: 1) a nak*d blonde covering her b*re br*asts with her left arm her other arm sed*ctively placed behind her h*ad. So I just watched him hook up with this girl we'd met at a party, feeling sick the whole time." Another: "I still get wet thinking about the night Jackie and I hooked up," says Carlee who slept with her best friend, "Her body was so soft, and hearing her moan got me so turned on."When it comes to the backdoor exploits there are incredibly disgusting quotes such as the following: "My boyfriend used to press on my b*tt hole while going down on me; I was amazed how er*tic it was.
This is the Laura Croft one FYI. In this short, one page interview, these two a-holes manage to ridicule God/Allah, claim they originally broke up because "he kept drying to reach for my d**k," promote m*rijuana as (I tell you no lies) a `gift from God', that, in fact, "prolongs your life," and "is not physically addicting." To make matters worse, this tete à tete is filled with h*mo-er*tic humor, including visiting the other in prison with chocolate flavored KY Jelly. A handsome nerd, but a nerd nonetheless. I think I have made a pretty darn case against this ridiculous magazine whom no one will ever buy again after having read this review. (Thank God for Swine flu, or I wouldn't have one on hand). Thankfully, I've lived here long enough to realize that most Americans are very decent and sexually pure people.One more article in this magazine (this one was particularly disgraceful huh). What I find even more egregious is the fact that of the 10 governors in the list 8 of them are Republican. Speaking of ads, practically every other page of this rag is an ad for this or that.
Big deal. 4) a sassy brown-haired babe wearing what looks to be Lora Croft's outfit from the Tomb Raider series. I'm further insulted when the claim that he believes in Intelligent Design, what they claim to be the belief that Noah rode a Dinosaur onto the Ark. They ARE on drugs.Next up in this issue is a `sex survey' that I'm sure is completely, 100 percent scientific and accurate that I believe was written for no other purpose than to give the freaks and sexual predators that read this magazine a bit of a ego-boost by portraying the average American to be as sexually depraved as those polled. However, I'd be slightly more appreciative had they secretly given me a free set mouse trap in my wife's p*nties.All is not negative however, as I can now use these magazines as a primary resource to use against it the magazine by writing this fully comprehensive review of this magazine en toto.
Furthermore, proof of the Ark lies in the mountains of Ararat in the Islamic Republic of Turkey where it is kept safe from the raging atheists who would no doubt destroy it if they had the chance, in some desperate attempt to cover up the truth.I can forgive Maxim for ridiculing Jindal, but when they mess with my gal Palin they have gone one step too far. This time taking a glance at the March issue. Check out this example of a strong, self-confident woman: "My boyfriend Rob said I should tell him if I was uncomfortable, but I didn't' want to be a kill-joy. B*rf bags ready. First of all, it smells so strongly of men's cologne that I can barely read it without a mask on. I.DON'T.KNOW.First, let's look at the June Issue, since it's the most recent. Peace Be Upon You.Lucky me. There's like 4 cologne ads in this one alone.
The final straw is when they refer to Barrack O-baaaaahhh-ma as an intelligent and honest man. What bothered me most about this magazine however is the fact that not a single page of any given issue seems to promote Islamic values.First we'll start out with what everyone notices about this magazine: the covers. Not only does this besmirch the name of one of Islam's most precious prophets, Noah (Pbuh) but it also ridicules Intelligent Design, which, unlike Macro Evolution, can actually be recreated in a lab. If she had stayed in the kitchen where she belonged she would be planting daisies, not pushing them up.Finally, this brings us to the last issue I have on hand at the moment, February's. I think fangs are f%$#@ing HOT)., possessing Lord of the Rings figures, skipping a shower or two, having a huge scar across your face, and, I kid thee not, crying upon hearing Unchained Melody. She has a Pride and Prejudice in her; I'm sure of it.One article in this issue even portrays one of our most beloved prophets, Jesus Christ (Pbuh), in a rollercoaster along with the 12 disciples.Next we're going to take a nice up close and personal look at the April issue.
It looks like she was dipped in bronze. If this poll was true, I wouldn't blame my pals in the Middle East for hating America. From what I've seen, the basic gist of this magazine is to provide a scantily clad woman on the cover, include about 4 or 5 pictures of this overly airbrushed dame in the magazine, and fill the rest of the pages with poorly written and unfunny jokes. Oooookkay.First there's an interview with Godless, or Allahless should I say., st*ner comedians Cheech and Chong. Allah help us. Now many people don't know this, but we Muslims believe in the Apocalypse as well. Boowakka.I'm sure there's more great things in this issue, but let's move along shall we. Someone must have thought I was a 'good boy' this year because I've been getting free Maxim magazine in my mailbox for the past 5 months.
This issue also happens to be the bikini issue so it is filled with plenty of scantily clad women which as you know in Islam is one big major, nono.One particular article got my goat because it seems to ridicule the Apocalypse. On the following page a guy asks what happens when he snorts cocaine. That's right guys, every girl's dream is a four-eyes LotRs fan with a scarred up face that cries at the drop of a hat. I'm pretty insulted because my version isn't included here; instead they talk about the Rapture, WWIII, disappearing bees, etc. some very important tips for attracting the opposite sex including: wearing glasses, dressing up like a vampire (She quips: "What can I say. So, why have I described these 4 covers in such detail; what is the significance.
One of them even claims that Bin Ladin will set off a dirty bomb in time square or something. This issue features an incredibly biased article titled "Governors Gone Wild." This snippet seeks to create a lack of respect for the office of governor, which being from Jordan originally where there is no Democracy, I take pretty darn personal. Ohhh, take that Darwin. Instead of reporting him to the authorities as any good American patriot would do, they answer the question. I don't have a very high opinion of you and, in fact, if I saw you on the street, I'd probably hit you square in the face.
Maxim is my favorite magazine but they have gotten a lot smaller over the past couple months. I noticed this change because I keep all of the issues and they have been getting smaller and smaller. But there are still pictures of super sexy women, funny articles, and tech stuff.
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